I grew up being the peacekeeper in my family. I never wanted anyone to be unhappy or to be fighting. I looked for solutions to the problems, I know that there is always a way to get to where we want to go, without someone else having to sacrifice or be hurt. I am very aware of how I was raised has impacted my life (for the good as well as for the bad). My life’s work is in understanding how we internalize experiences and stories that we were exposed to and we create some kind of belief or value around it - to mean something about our self worth.
One of the biggest mysteries to me still is how we take responsibility for what happens to us as children. How do we take the blame for our parents bad behavior to mean something about our worth or lovability? What is within the psyche that says “if my dad ignores me I must not be important”. This is insanity, right!? And so untrue.
And this is the undoing that we have to do as adults in order to create the life we want. Yes, CREATE. We are the creators of our reality. We are each 100% responsible for how we perceive and internalize our experiences. We actually get to decide how we tell the story in our own minds.
I know that this might sound confusing to you. I realize that you may be thinking “how can I be calm when I grew up in an anxious household with an abusive dad and a depressed mom?” Yep, you have every right to feel depressed, anxious, even helpless. But you don’t have to. You can change the way you talk to yourself. You can change the way you feel. Ultimately live your life the way you say that you want to.
Joe Dispenza, his work focuses on spontaneous remissions and the power of meditation, his explanation of what our personality is, is right on target in my book. He states that our personality is what we think all day long, what we feel all day long and what we do all day long. If that's the case, our thoughts are changeable, our emotions are changeable, and our actions are certainly changeable. No matter what our past has taught us, we are currently right here, right now, and we can choose who we want to be.
We all have some experience with unkind, unloving, even fearful experiences. Being a licensed counselor I have heard some unthinkable things that have happened to people - things that you thought were only in the movies. Experiences that would cripple a person, send them into a deep hole of despair, have been the catalyst for great change giving them the power to live beyond their wildest dreams. I’ve seen people rise above the ashes of hopelessness, thrive from a childhood that would rip your heart out, shine so bright and create a life far beyond what was imagined. There was no time to dwell on the ‘this is too hard’. There was no room for ‘can I really do this’. Self doubt is not an option. Of course it was when they first came to see me. They were unsure of their strength, their vision of something better was very very blurry. But inside, there was a glimmer of hope. That's all that is needed to create change. Just a small speck of something different, and the change grows. You grow, you evolve. Your spirit expands and you become the fully expressed human that you are.
If you’re reading this, pause right now, ask yourself “what do I want? What do I really really want for myself? How do I want to feel? Who do I want to become?” Once you decide what you want, then choose it ~ every moment, every hour, every day. And make the commitment to be present, to be kind to yourself and to live this one great life that you’ve been given without regret. Not sure exactly where to start? That’s what I’m here for! Whether it’s one quick chat to point you in the right direction, or to guide you on this new adventure, to cheer you on, and to bring to you new insight and perspective.
Let’s find out what you need and how to get it. Let's talk! Schedule a call now.
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