A client was referred to me within a practice I worked at years ago. She was working with another therapist for quite some time. So I asked “What made you decide to work with me?” This is a question I often ask new clients. Whether for self image coaching, meditation, or counseling, what made them decide to choose me as their teacher. The answers are across the board: “I like your style of teaching because your voice is soft, or I saw you speak at a summit and you shared a story that really hit home, I like your smile and you seem easy to talk to - someone I can trust”. And some like my straight forward, to the point, with an open loving heart attitude to get things done! This time, the answer I got was a first! She responds to my question with “As long as you don’t fall asleep on me, we will be good”.
Excuse me?
She continued “as long as you stay awake while we’re meeting and you listen to me - bare minimum, that would be good.”
I was shocked. I didn’t even know what to say. I have to clarify that I was hearing her correctly. Unfortunately I was.
I will tell you, I have never fallen asleep on a client, in any situation (not even during meditation😜).
This was shocking. Unacceptable. And so many other things. Or was this therapist just human.
There are certain professions that we hold a higher standard for than others - as we should. I recently discovered that a well known yoga teacher had been accused of sexually molesting students. (he is now passed). As I investigated, I came across one of my well respected teachers that was mourning this information, as she trained with him and was pained by the information. She said something that I believe was so profound - she will not let this behavior from one person taint an ancient practice that has healed and helped so many.
I have known teachers that scream at students. Doctors that misdiagnose. Therapists that give bad advice (giving advice at all is not good). Men of the cloth that are unfaithful.
Yes, all horrible experiences, and true. And not the entire story.
I know doctors that ask their patients to Believe in their healing before putting them under anesthesia. I have heard of therapists that have ‘saved’ marriages. Teachers that mentor and encourage students to believe in themselves no matter what!
This is a world of contrast. Would we know good if there weren’t bad? Would we embrace love without the awareness of hate? We are all walking through life in these meat suits. Some of us are more in tune with our spiritual self, others, not so much.
Here’s the bottom line - we are all human and your experience is yours to choose. I have hired and fired my own therapists. I have paid coaches that have run with my money and left me with nothing to show for it, and others that gave me 10x what I invested. We can write these off as big mistakes or blunders. I see them as opportunities to grow. I am more tuned in to my gut, I listen to my inner voice that says “run for the hills!” or “invite them to coffee”.
Are you listening to your gut? Have you heard your inner voice lately? Have you been wanting to end a relationship that you know is bad for you? It’s time. You are strong enough to know when to move on. You matter and are worthy of the best. Now it’s your turn to believe it. And take action.
