“Enjoy the Presence of the Pause.”
Have you ever had one of those moments where you hear yourself snap, defend, people-please, or spiral… and afterward you think, “Why did I do that again?” You didn’t mean to. You weren’t trying to create tension. You just felt pushed, rushed, misunderstood, or stretched too thin—and before you could catch it, you were already reacting.
And here’s the truth most high-performing, purpose-driven women don’t realize: you’re not “too emotional.” You’re not broken. You’re not failing at self-control.
You’re just living without enough ~space~.
Viktor Frankl wrote in ‘A Man’s Search for Meaning’:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. Within that space, lies your power.”
That space is where your self-image gets rewritten.
That space is where peace becomes possible.
That space is where you begin to live from your emotional intelligence—your *heartset*—instead of your survival/ fight or flight state.
And today, I want to offer you a new thought to practice:
What if everything goes well?
Not in a “wishful thinking” way—but in a grounded, embodied way where you learn to pause long enough to respond like the version of you who is calm, clear, and confident.
If your day-to-day life feels like a string of micro-emergencies—texts, meetings, decisions, family needs, pressure, expectations—then it makes sense that your nervous system is on high alert.
When your body is bracing, your brain looks for danger.
And when your brain looks for danger, your emotions get loud.
And when your emotions get loud, you react.
But what if there’s a practice that helps you shift in real time?
Not by pretending things aren’t stressful.
Not by “being positive” on top of overwhelm.
But by learning to access the ~space~ between what happens and what you do next.
Today is about The Pause Practice—and how to activate your heartset so you can respond instead of react.
Enjoy the presence of the pause
I help purpose-driven women activate a positive self-image so they can create a life they love, doing what they love—energized, inspired, and connected to their mind-body-spirit.
As a licensed counselor, self-image coach, intenSati Leader, and yoga teacher, I help professional women activate a positive self-image by tapping into their creative genius so they can create a life they love with passion, and On Purpose!
This teaching will help you activate your Heartset by tapping into the power of the pause—because your state of being matters. It shapes how you think, how you speak, how you lead, how you love, and how you choose.
My teaching style is intentionally simple and repeatable—it’s my 4 State of Being for consciously living a life you love:
We are
~mental
~emotional
~physical
~and spiritual beings
Today is all about your Heartset—your emotional being, your emotional intelligence, your ability to feel without being ruled by feelings.
What is “the pause,” really?
You might be wondering what exactly I mean—’what is the pause?’
And you may even be thinking: ‘Why listen to my heart—won’t it misguide me?’
Let’s make it simple.
~The pause is the moment you interrupt autopilot~
It’s the breath between the email and the reply.
It’s the second before you raise your voice.
It’s the inhale before you over-explain.
It’s the space where you check in and choose.
The pause doesn’t mean you ignore reality. It means you stop letting your nervous system run the conversation.
Common Misconceptions That Feed Emotions In The Direction You DON’T Want To Go
Most of us were trained (directly or indirectly) to move fast, decide fast, respond fast—and we mistake speed for strength. So we tell ourselves things like:
1) “Act now—don’t wait or we’ll miss the opportunity.”
This is fear dressed up as productivity. It creates urgency, and urgency creates reactivity.
2) “Love vs fear? That’s a joke. Fear keeps us safe.”
Fear *can* alert you—but it’s not meant to lead you. Fear is a messenger, not a master.
3) “I can’t stop myself from going 0 to 10.”
That belief might feel true, especially if you’ve been living under stress for a long time. But it’s not the whole story. The pause is a skill—and skills can be practiced.
Here’s what I want you to consider:
Your emotions aren’t “too much.” They’re information.
And your heartset is the way you learn to receive that information without becoming it.
Why The Pause Changes Everything (stress relief, self-image, energy, daily life)
When you live without pausing, your nervous system becomes your identity.
You start to believe:
- “I’m just an anxious person.”
- “I’m short-tempered.”
- “I’m bad at boundaries.”
- “I always mess things up.”
But those aren’t personality traits. They’re often stress responses.
The pause practice matters because it supports:
- Stress relief: your body exits fight-or-flight more quickly
- Self-image: you begin to recognize and trust yourself again
- Energy: you stop wasting emotional energy on spirals
- Daily life: communication improves, decisions get clearer, relationships soften
A Quick Story: Heart Breathing Activates Calm Energy
One of the simplest, most powerful things I’ve experienced (and taught) is this:
Breathing into the heart activates a calm energy—an emotional state of well-being.
The HeartMath Institute has fascinating research on the connection between the mind and heart—expanding the capacity of the heart to feel more deeply, and creating coherence between your emotional state and your physiology.
It’s like the heart is a second brain. There are still mysteries we don’t fully understand—but we don’t need all the answers to practice the benefits.
Here’s the key:
When we feel good, we do good.
Feeling is ultimately the secret to our success.
And yes—this matters in practical terms. Because:
You cannot be breathing deeply and have panic at the same time.
Deep breathing changes what’s happening in your body. And when your body changes, your options expand.
Enjoy the presence of the pause
3 Practical Steps To Start Responding Instead Of Reacting
You don’t need to master this overnight. Remember: 1% improvement 1 day at a time.
Let’s make this doable, real, and sustainable.
Step 1: Name what’s happening (without judgment)
When you feel the heat rising—before you act—try this simple internal statement:
- “I’m feeling activated.”
- “I’m feeling rushed.”
- “I’m feeling defensive.”
This creates separation between *you* and the emotion. You’re no longer fused with it. You’re witnessing it.
Step 2: Breathe into the heart (60–90 seconds) For a guided video, join me here:
Place a hand over the center of your chest (optional, but powerful).
Breathe as if the breath can move in and out through the heart space.
You’re not forcing calm. You’re creating space for it.
Step 3: Choose the feeling you want to lead with
This is where heartset becomes a practice. And practice creates lasting positive change.
Ask yourself:
- “What do I want to feel right now?”
- “What feeling would my highest self choose?”
- “What would love do here?”
Then choose one word:
- calm
- steady
- open
- clear
- grounded
- compassionate
- brave
And breathe that feeling in for a few cycles.
This is how you “wake up and win”—not by controlling everything around you, but by leading your inner state.
My True Story
I truly believe I would have failed out of college if I had not discovered breathing and meditation—specifically breathing into the heart.
My mind was loud. My stress was high. My confidence had collapsed under pressure. But when I learned to pause and breathe, something changed: I stopped being at war with my own emotions. I started working with them.
And that is what I want for you—not perfection, but partnership with your inner world.
A short heart-breathing exercise (2 minutes)
If you’re reading this at your desk, in your car (parked), or sitting on your couch, I invite you to join me for just a couple minutes:
1. Sit comfortably. Let your shoulders drop.
2. Place your attention on the center of your chest.
3. Inhale slowly for a count of 4… pause…
4. Exhale slowly for a count of 6… pause…
5. Imagine the breath moving through the heart space.
6. Choose a feeling you want to experience—peace, ease, gratitude, confidence.
7. Continue breathing as if you’re breathing that feeling in…and breathing tension out.
That’s it. That’s the pause practice in motion.
Remember, “Between stimulus and response lies this space—within the space lies your power.”
You don’t have to be a victim of your reactions.
You choose to react or respond. Choice is your power.
And every time you pause, you strengthen the identity of the woman who leads herself well.
Ask yourself:
What is one area in my life where I can pause and breathe before I respond?
(Think: a relationship, a recurring trigger, a work situation, your morning routine, your inner self-talk.)
Action step (5–10 minute assignment for today)
Set a timer for 5–10 minutes today and do this:
1) Breathe into the heart space.
2) Choose one feeling to focus on.
3) Let your body learn that feeling—without needing the outside world to change first.
And if you’re thinking: ‘Sure, breathe a little… but what happens when my temper is short and I’m tired?’
That’s the practice.
That’s the moment to ask:
Do I go into defense mode?
Can I let that go?
Can I create one breath of space—one pause—before I speak?
Enjoy the presence of the pause
If you want support staying consistent with practices like this—simple tools that create real change—get my weekly wellness tips here:
**Get your weekly wellness tips → https://createconsciousliving.com/landing/weekly-wellness-tips**
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